“A man is likely to feel emasculated when he thinks he has lost his capacity to provide for and protect his family. This transcends class, race or religious leaning. Men derive their sense of value from being in charge, from being in control. But the harsh reality of life is that we are never really in control. At least, not in the way we expect to be.”
Author, Taiwo Odukoya, explores in this book the various circumstances that throw men into despair and depression.
For every man, once he gets to a certain age, is expected to take on some responsibilities and begin to forge his path through life. Sometimes, the circumstances we find ourselves in make it very difficult to do just that and the factors are varied: from health crisis to unemployment, resulting in financial challenges that make it difficult to provide for a family, a man has a lot to contend with in modern society.
But in this book, TIME the author explores God-given principles that anyone caught in this crisis can find useful in navigating these circumstances of life. The book is divided into five parts that expounds on these challenges and how they can be tackled.
First, the author seeks to “redefine masculinity”. He posits that men have lost their sense of identity and value and have to live up to standards set by themselves and society. When a man measures himself by these standards and finds out that he falls short, he begins to feel a sense of failure and when not checked with the right attitude, could lead to depression and in worst cases, suicide. This does not help as a man is raised with the notion that he must suffer in silence and protect his masculinity by handling things on his own and so the cycle continues with men feeling emotionally cut off from their wives and children and having to carry the weight of the world alone.
For Odukoya, men must to sit up and never see failure as the end of the world but rather as a lesson to move them to their next level. He insists that failure is as temporal as emotions and must not be used as a yardstick to define oneself.
When faced with despair, readers are encouraged to take rests occasionally to regroup and not focus on past failures. Most times, people assume that hard work is the definition of success and so they work till they drop and end up frustrated when it does not seem to profit much.
A lot of the time, we focus on the destination and fail to enjoy the journey and in doing so we miss out on the lessons we are supposed to learn. One major killer of purpose is comparing one man’s journey to another, which breeds unhealthy competition. We are reminded that every man’s destiny is different and we are all on different paths. Of course, this does not encourage laziness as the author reminds us that “work is the ladder of achievement and there is no substitute for it”.
At the centre of this book is the need for men to draw close to their creator as it is only in Him that they can find their identity. He is the one who determines the life of a man and gives him his purpose to accomplish. He is the one who strengthens and encourages and He is the one who equips with gifts and talents to run the race.
Although this book is targeted at men, women can also pick up some lessons from it, as we all face moments of doubts and disappointments when we question who we; when we fail to measure up to the goals and standards set. At such times, we must turn to God, who knows us thoroughly and is ever willing and ready to help us rise up above the challenging circumstances of life and say, just like Caleb, “Give me this mountain!”