I have been a chief bridesmaid for two of my friends. The last time another friend asked me to be her chief bridesmaid sometime last year, I did not even reply her message on Facebook.
My mates from both secondary school and the university are getting married like it is going out of fashion. Some are popping babies like a labourer taking aspirin after a hard day’s work. My mum constantly tells me to hurry up and leave the house because at her age, she was on child number three. My dad would occasionally question me with a smile as if I am hiding the world’s best kept secret. Grandpa and grandma want great grandchildren o; it’s official.
And I don’t know why I feel like some prayer points that my pastor raises about life partner/spouse/missing rib, etc are simply directed at me. The only thing is, he tries to cover it up by not telling the congregation to stretch their hands towards me. Am I overreacting? Is it all just in my head? Because I need an explanation as to why all these people do not think I have been ready for marriage since forever.
If the boo proposed right now, you think I wouldn’t say yes? If the right woman came, that brother would not hesitate to marry and ditch single life for good. It’s like putting Usain Bolt on the track and telling him to wait a while. Wait? With all this adrenaline?
The singular fact that I am ready mentally, psychologically, intellectually, sexually, financially and spi-ri-tu-ally is enough for God to send Mr Right. Isn’t it? Ladies, do you feel me? Brothers?
However, let’s look on the bright side of waiting. Waiting, either for the knight in shining armour or the Cinderella in glass shoes to make appearance or for him to propose, as a time for confirmation from God. I heard of a lady who was supposed to get married on Valentine’s Day and members of her family were of the opinion that the marriage was not God’s will because her fiancé was temperamental and randy.
Some of us want to just go, go go. We want to experience/enjoy some things before the second coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. However, while we wait for His second appearance, He has commanded that we occupy till He comes. Evangelise, live holy, work His works on earth, etc.
The same applies to marriage. Do not be carried away with the destination that you forget to prepare for the journey. Develop yourself, intellectually, professionally, domestically, etc. Are you going to the right places? Are you wearing the right clothes, saying the right things, smelling the right way, paying attention to the things that matter? How are you preparing for the other life?
Truth is, one can’t be fully prepared. Tales from the married explain that enough, but that does not give room for indiscipline or ignorance, nor does it mean you should give up trusting God for the one. Even now that you are single, it is important to love yourself first. Then you can genuinely love another.
If you are in an abusive relationship, now is the time to quit it. If you are unsure of the status of your heart, cross check with your supposed partner to know you are both who you think you are. Better a broken relationship than a broken marriage. If you are experiencing numerous heartbreaks or have no-one looking in your direction, seek counselling from the pastorate and on your own, pray.
If you are having sex outside marriage, you are breeding soul ties. Stop before you burn out. Don’t get married to spite someone or to prove a point. Don’t rush in. Keep calm. If you are on the track right now, think, breathe, reflect, make the right friends and brace for the race ahead, asking God’s will alone to manifest. Trust me, God is the author of happily ever after!